Newborn babies have a number of ways of
communicating, but there’s no better way for baby to express his discontent than crying. A newborn will cry when hungry, tired, hot, cold, in pain, wet or lonely. He can cry because of indigestion, problems breathing, allergies or illnesses; when he’s exposed to loud noises or bright light; or when he’s over-stimulated.
In the first six months of life, your baby has little ability to regulate the sensations of hunger, being too hot or too cold, or general comfort. A well-intentioned friend may tell you that baby is “exercising his lungs” by crying, but the truth is that his lungs have been working just fine since he was born. No, his crying means something else altogether.
As you hear them more, you learn to differentiate between cries of pain, hunger and discontent. You also may start to sense the difference between screaming and crying — screams being more like insistent pleas for help, and cries more like lengthy complaints.
How much, how long?
It’s not uncommon for babies to cry between 15 minutes and two hours a day for the first three months. They cry most during the first few weeks, usually culminating at around three to four weeks. It usually subsides around three months, when baby starts finding other ways of expressing that he’s unhappy, like grunting or squirming.
Quick response helps
Nowadays, most parents follow their intuition and come to a crying baby’s rescue as soon as possible. When you do this, your child learns to trust you, and that he can communicate with the world around him, that he can be heard. If you come to your baby’s aid early enough, you can often prevent a crying jag before it starts.
Of course, each baby is different: Some are more irritable, more dependent on regular patterns of sleeping and feeding than others. Others are more easygoing, and may only cry occasionally. Just remember that your baby never cries because he is spoiled or because he wants to annoy you. He’s calling out for you.
What you can do
• Movement and touch
Rocking your baby or patting his back may calm him. Many parents find that carrying their baby constantly can help. You may find that a
sling or a front carrier can do a world of good, but remember that it can cause back pain or strain for whoever’s doing the carrying. Lots of dads find this to be a rewarding and good way to help out.
Skin-on-skin contact is also extremely valuable: It stimulates your child’s emotional development, and the bonding can be calming for both of you. Baby massage can also help, as it relaxes your baby’s breathing. This gentle touch can also release hormones that influence baby’s brain and the nervous system, and help the child fall sleep.
Your baby is a social being: He wants to be close to you. A child’s need for love, tenderness and closeness is in fact as great as the need for food and sleep.
• Soothing sounds
The rhythm of a heartbeat can have a profoundly calming effect on your child. After all, he listened to and felt the particular pulse of your heartbeat for nine months. To him, the sound means safety and security, and if you carry or hold baby near your chest, it will almost be like he’s feeling your heartbeat again.
There are also CDs that emulate the sound of a heartbeat, and other rhythmical sounds can help as well, including soothing music and the hum of a car engine.
• Tummy pain
A newborn’s intestines and stomach need time to adjust; until now, all of his nutrition has come through the umbilical cord — suddenly starting to eat can cause cramps and gas! If your baby pulls up his legs to his tummy, or if he sucks in air during a meal, he may need to be burped. Breastfeeding at short intervals may also help relieve this.
In some cases, a baby who always cries after feeding may have
colic, and there are things you can do to help those symptoms. If it’s impossible to calm your baby down, no matter what you try, you should call your pediatrician for advice.
You need relief, too!
Some babies cry for hours on end. Parents with these chronic criers can end up feeling depressed, scared, alone, worn out and helpless. Try to determine why your baby is crying; if you can figure it out, you may be able to help soothe him.
But in some cases, like with many colicky babies, knowing the reason for his crying doesn’t necessarily mean finding a solution. Still, just knowing may help make it more tolerable for you.
If you have a chronic crier, or if your baby suffers from colic, talk to your partner, your family and maybe a close friend or two about a division of labor. Take shifts. You need to unwind, to unplug, to recharge your batteries. Having a crying baby is nothing to be ashamed of; there’s help out there for you. Your pediatrician may be able to connect you with other parents going through the same thing. And remember: The worst of the crying will probably pass pretty soon.