When Michael Kleber-Diggs dropped off his daughter for her first day of kindergarten, the experience was almost as hard for him as it was for her.
"Elinor was equal parts excited and nervous," recalls Kleber-Diggs of St. Paul, MN. "When we walked through the door, she started bawling. I gave her a hug, then walked away. I got as far as my car before I started crying myself."
There's no doubt about it: Starting school can be tough for the whole family. Having attended preschool will certainly help your child acclimate to kindergarten, but going to "real school" is still a big change. These strategies will make the transition easier for everyone.
Tish Hamilton did just that with her daughter, Nina. "We went to the school's orientation," says Hamilton, a magazine editor in New Jersey. "Nina came out saying, 'I like that school!' It was a very good experience for all of us."
Make Sure the Timing's Right
Determining when your child is ready to go to kindergarten can be tricky. "Elinor turned 5 about two weeks before school started," says Kleber-Diggs. "We spent so much time wondering if she should start that year or the next." (They decided together that Elinor, who's now 7, was ready that year.)
The key is to tune in to your child's "self-maintenance" cues, says Podlasiak. "Can she go to the bathroom alone? Can she skip a nap or eat a meal without your help?"
Stick to the Basics
Follow the supply list the school provides. "Sometimes parents think they're doing their kids a favor by loading up their backpacks with extra items," says Podlasiak, who has been an elementary-school teacher in Caldwell, OH, for 30 years. "Kids [starting school] have enough stress without having to fish through extra clutter to find what they actually need."
Be Upbeat
Tell your child how excited you are about this big change. Talk about all the things you yourself loved about school. Encourage her to enjoy learning by reading fun educational books together.
"It seems like a small thing, but try to be conscious of your language," says Podlasiak. "Always say, 'You get to go to school,' not 'You have to go to school.' "
Remember that your child will feel reassured if she senses that you're comfortable, so keep your nervousness to yourself (or between you and your partner).
"It's so important to give a child a positive, successful experience when starting school," says Podlasiak. "It really can set the tone for her entire life."