Kathy 03/30/2010
Question:
My son enjoys preschool, but sometimes he plays with his friends so rough that he knocks them over and they get little bumps and scrapes. I totally think it's accidental, but I'd like to encourage him to be more gentle. How can I get the point across without traumatizing him or stifling him?
Answer:
Preschool is all about socialization; it’s the time when children are supposed to be learning how to interact, play, share and understand their feelings. Teach him the social skills you think are appropriate by modeling them when you play with him, the pet, a sibling or another child. Label as you go: “We can be gentle when we play and have fun.” Neutrally comment when he knocks over a peer, modeling an apology: “Whoops! I don’t think you meant to push Patty, but she fell and got a bump. Did you say you’re sorry?” Remember to teach children what to do, not just what not to do. Children may need reminders to slow down, touch softly and be gentle; it won’t be traumatizing if comments are constructive and respectful.